well... it is 3:56 am and I am up on the computer because I just can't seem to sleep.
I was thinking about 'her' again, I thought blogging or looking for random pics on the net would help, but then i come across 'her' Deviantart page and i read her journal and realise that I was never mentioned, and that hurts. I cant be mad at her because she followed her heart. " as long as she is treated right and is happy then im happy for her" like everyone hasnt heard me say that too many times...
this online journal entry is written this morning to say why can't i get her out of my head? it is me that is causing the pain.. not her or the one that is her everything... i cant bring myself to hate either of them, obviously they are made for each other.
i wish them both all the happiness in the world.
if she does read this i would ask of her that she sent me an email or a message or something just so i know that she is ok and that my heart isnt hurting in vain. i do wish her happiness, if only she would read my poetry (all about her) ten she would know that I am ready to say goodbye to what we had and maybe if she will let me say hello to a friendship i know we can have..

its now way past my bedtime and i hope that i can drift off to sleep but first i will leave you with a random thought of a psychotic mind.......

"id withstand all of hell to hold your hand"